Uprooting

So.... we're moving. :( Leaving all our friends and family. Leaving our home, leaving our church. I'm VERY sad. But, I'm also a little excited. We're just going to take ourselves a little adventure. I'm telling myself it's a temporary long-term thing. I've been praying for our marriage a lot lately and so has Dane and this whole moving thing has already grown us closer. So, there's already one good thing about it, and we haven't even moved yet! I'm really trying hard to keep the positive things in the forefront of my mind. Of course, I've had a few "breakdowns", but all in all I've stayed positive. It's going to be a fun little BIG adventure for our family. There is so much to do in the Kansas City area. We're going to be little country fish in a big city pond. Ha! I guess I better get better at writing and keeping this blog updated. I'll try....

"The older you get the faster time goes"

We heard this statement so many times growing up as we were wishing for the school year to go faster, or wishing for our birthday to get here sooner. If you were like me you thought there was no way that was true. Now that we're older we find it to be oh so true. Where has the time gone?! I have a little boy who's speaking to me in complete sentences and a little girl who likes to sit up on her own in the bumbo. All day long I hear,"let me do it!", from a little boy who is finding his independence very exciting. He no longer needs me to take him to the potty, or feed him, or open the door, or any of those little things anymore. It is a bit of a relief as I have two children now, but it's also a little sad. I'm so proud of the little boy he's becoming though. He can be very polite. He loves his sister. He's an adventure seeker. He's a little stunt man. He's so handsome. Love that boy. Leila is becoming more beautiful every day. She's also learning to be more independent, playing longer on her floor mat and sitting in her bumbo. This girl is as sweet as they come. As long as she's fed and slept, she'll smile at you for days. Love that girl.
I find myself happier than I've ever been. That could be because of all the wonderful things in my life, but that's only a little sliver. I've always had wonderful things in my life. No, this is something deeper. Something that only He can teach us. It's called contentment. He's been teaching me a lifelong lesson about contentment. I'm finally starting to get it. What a patient God we serve! He's proven himself to me over and over. Love that God.

Life Lately

SO, there's been a lot going on in our lives. I won't even start a list... But, I gotta say our little family has held itself together with all our might!  I'm proud of my husband, I'm proud of my kids, and I gotta say, I'm proud of myself. (I don't usually handle stress well.)  I'm feeling like there's not much we can't handle with each other and God.

I just started doing some wedding coordinating at our church. I knew I was going to like it, but I LOVE it...so far. I love organizing and directing things. I guess you could say I like to boss. ;) I also like being a part of such a special day for people. I cry at ALL weddings. I don't care if I know the people or not. Anyway, it's fun!

My little Leila girl is a tiny girl. She had her well child check up this week and she weighed 9.6 lbs. She's only in the 12th percentile! That means 88% of babies at her age are bigger than her! She's so cute! She's growing great, she's just little.  She didn't get this from me, but my mama and nanny are tiny women. When Hollis was her age he was in the 97th percentile. What a huge difference!

Hollis is growing well too. He's getting so big. His intelligence amazes me everyday. He's beginning to be helpful around the house, which I LOVE. He has little stool that he likes to take from room to room so he can reach things to help me. He also tells me voluntarily, "wuv you mama", which totally melts me. Love that boy!

Dane has been amazing these two months. He has really been working on himself. He's losing weight and learning more about what makes me feel loved. It's so true that all we women really want is just some effort. It's truly the thought that counts. But, combine that with success and we will will be on the moon. I'm so proud of him.

In short life is good even when it's pouring rain!

So, I know I said I was going to tell you the rest of the story, but I don't want to share the negativity. I'll just tell you that I spent my mother's day in the emergency room with leftover placenta in me. TMI, I know.

 Leila has been another little angel baby (that's what I always called Hollis). She is a good napper, which is different than Hollis. She still gets up twice a night though, which is also different than Hollis. It's crazy how they can be so different. She has her own little personality, but she's still just as sweet as Hollis was. I am one lucky mama to have such sweet, easy babies, but also one tired mama who's still getting up twice a night. Here's what Leila's been up to:

• She decided at two weeks that it was time to ROLL OVER. She really did. She has done it both ways but mainly she just does front to back. She may be skinny, but she's a strong little stinker. :)
• She smiles a lot. Mainly right after eating, but she's getting to where she will smile when you get her up out of bed.
• She has giggled a couple of times.
• She has been transitioning to eating every four hours instead of every three.
• She LOVES her brother. She's always full of smiles when he's around.
• She's been batting at the flower that hangs above her playmat.
• She is raising her head up all the way during tummy time.

Hollis is starting to adjust. He's been great to her, but he's definitely been taking some things out on me. Oh well, he'll figure it out. I can handle him being mad at me, but I'm really glad he's not mad at her. I love these kids so much, and I am so blessed to be their mommy! 

Leila

     Well, she's here! Four weeks ago actually. Leila Rae Yerton, 7lbs. 1oz. 20 in. April 25th at 10:00 PM She was exactly a pound lighter than Hollis at the same length. She's a skinny little thing! But, oh so beautiful. Forgive me for not posting this sooner. ;) Her birth story is more crazy than Hollis'. I had really tough time this time. I've come to the conclusion after two traumatic births that my body was not made for birthing. It's awesome at pregnancy, but terrible at birthing. I'm not going to fill this post with complaining, but I will tell you what happened. I know it's really long.....
       At 10:00 PM Sunday the 24th of April I was lying in bed. I had just had myself a little pity party between God and myself. I told him I was tired of being pregnant, blah blah blah. I told him I couldn't bare the thought of gong as long as I did with Hollis (even though at this time I was only one day past my due date). So, anyway, I was lying in bed, and Dane walked in the room to come to bed, we were talking to one another and all of a sudden I said," Um, I think my water just broke." He said," You think?" So I went to the toilet and sat down. It was just a little trickle, not like the movies where it all comes gushing out. So I still wasn't sure. I called my doula and she said it sounded like it had indeed broken, she told me to call her when I needed her. So I got up, and then the contractions started. The started out about 8 minutes apart and then quickly moved to 6. I was still in denial at this point because I thought there was no way that God was going to let this be it after the pity party I had had about an hour prior. Then when I finally accepted that this was it I thanked God for loving me so much. So, the contractions stayed about 6 minutes apart for the better part of the night. Then at about 3:00 I called Mary (my doula) to come over because things were getting pretty intense and I felt like it might be about time to go to the hospital. When she got there my labor had slowed significantly. She said this happens all the time. Isn't it funny how our bodies work? It was a psychological thing, my body relaxed because I was more at ease with her there. She said I should take that opportunity to rest. So I slept every ten minutes for a few more hours, because the contractions had moved to ten min. apart. At around 6:30 she came into my room and wanted to see how much I had dilated. I was barely at a 2! Labored all night long and barely at a 2?! She said it was time to go to the hospital anyway because it was getting close to the twelve hour window after my water breaking. On the way to the hospital I had a few intense contractions. By the time we got to Baptist my labor had stopped. They gave me a little time to see if it would start again, but it didn't. If my water hadn't been broken for 12 hours at that time they probably would have sent me home, but they had to give pitocen to get the labor moving again. I don't know if you have had both kinds of contractions (natural and induced) but induced contractions are much more intense. I was in agony. I made it through 19 hours of labor with no drugs. After that Mary advised that I get an epidural so that my body could relax. You see I wasn't progressing very fast because I wasn't relaxing through the contractions. So they gave me a low dose epidural, which was so much better than the one I had with Hollis. After that I progressed fairly quickly. At around 5:30 PM I was at a ten. PRAISE THE LORD! But then, there was that darn tornado! They told me I would have to wait a little bit because they had to wheel me into a little cubby hole. Okay, I can deal with that. Even though at this time the epidural was starting to wear off. After that was over, I was like," Okay let's get this little girl out!" Then they told me that there was only one doctor there and that he was in the other room delivering. (I had a previous c-section so they did not want me pushing without the doctor there.) "Okay, but I'm starting to get impatient." My epidural had really worn off now. Then he had to go do an emergency c-section. "WHAT! Get a doctor in here now or I'm going to start pushing." The nurses said," No you can't push yet."  I finally told them that I had signed the waiver notifying me of the risks of a vbac and that I was going to start pushing. They could not agree to it but stayed with me, and I began pushing on my own. Finally the doctor came and asked how I was doing. I told him I was about to cuss him out and he said that I couldn't say anything to him that he hadn't heard before. Ha!! I pushed for an hour and a half and finally Leila was here at 10:00 PM exactly. 24 hours from the start of my labor. I had torn almost all the way and he began sewing me up. He had to give me a numbing shot because I could feel everything. After that all of my family came in to get a quick peek at Leila. All I could think off was how bad I needed to sleep. I hadn't slept in like 40 hours. Then the nurse said I needed to get u[ and use the restroom because I didn't want to have a catheter. At this point I said," yes I do want a catheter". She said," no you don't." So, I  obeyed, protesting all the way. I got to the bathroom and asked Dane to hold me up while I sat there. I was so exhausted that I couldn't even hold myself up. I kept telling him, "I can't do this, I need to get in bed." That was the last thing I remember saying. Conk. I passed out. I was in and out of consciousness for a few minutes. I could hear Dane saying,"Help!" Then it was like you see on TV. This blurry vision of nurses swirling around me. I could hear them saying,"Heather, Heather!"  Then I woke up in a wheelchair still kind of groggy. I heard my nurse say in a panicked tone, "I checked her blood pressure before she got out of bed and it was fine!" Then someone was shoving an alcohol swab in my face saying, "smell this". I said, "Why am I smelling alcohol, What happened?" They told me I had passed out. My mom told me that I actually said, "What now?!" Ha! Then I said, "I told you I didn't have to go to the bathroom." Sarcastically of course. Then came the shakes. Oh, those dreaded shakes.My blood pressure was fine and had passed out simply from exhaustion. Finally after messing with me for what seemed like an eternity, they moved me to the recovery room. AAH, silence at last. Except for my precious one. We stayed two nights, then we got to bring her home. I had never been so glad to see my bed. Isn't it awesome that we have such a great reward at the end of such a difficult task. After all that, my Leila girl was totally worth and would do it again. My journey to recovery was not quite over yet, but I'll tell that story in the next post.

    So, we're waiting on Leila to make her grand entrance. I'm due on Saturday, but I'm not expecting anything. With Hollis I went to 41w and 3d and that's as far as she would let me, then he STILL didn't want to come out and they had to cut him out. So, we'll see if she's as stubborn as him. I've been doing pretty good, but I'm starting to get impatient.(Insert prayer for me here) ;)
    This past couple of weeks has been rough. First, my grandfather decided after 49 years of marriage that he no longer wanted to be with my grandmother and left. Talk about something you didn't see coming!! I am fortunate enough that I haven't had to deal with divorce in my life, and let me tell you I'm not sure how to. Then I got a phone call that my lifelong best friend's brother had been killed. What?!  Then, Dane had a doctor's appointment this week because his hip has been giving him trouble for about a year and the potential diagnosis was shocking and not good. He has an MRI coming up to confirm the diagnosis. I'll post more about that when we know more.This week has been filled with trying to understand God's timing and finally giving up because He's the master and we don't have to understand. So, anyway, my faith is really being tested between all of this and waiting on Leila. But the truth is, I feel like I can handle it better now then I could have a year ago.These things are the good that has come out of these stressful situations: I feel like we've made some really good, lifelong friends recently. In the past, Dane and I haven't handled stress well in our relationship, but this time we are doing well. God has shown me the progress being made in all the important relationships in my life. What a blessing.

    I'm sitting in my chair, it's 8:00 in the morning, Hollis is doing his "sleepy song" in bed (he has done this since he was six months old, he rocks and hums, it's how he gets to sleep and wakes up.), and I'm just realizing, there will not be many more days like this. Soon Leila will have gotten me up long before Hollis does. I look at that before me and smile. What joy our children bring us. Even in the hard times. Even when your body is begging for just one more hour of sleep. Remember that feeling? So tired, but wishing your newborn would wake up so you can see them again. I think that is how God see us. Well, aside form the exhausted part. Wishing that we would open our eyes to spend more time with him. Not wanting us to lose our childlike innocence. Relying fully on him. In fact, being helpless without him. I'm working on that. It's so hard to separate God's reality from society. Society tells me that I can do anything I want to. It also tells me that the only thing that matters is my happiness. This is the opposite of the truth. We should be diving head first into the plans that he has for us. The problem is that now we have to listen so much harder because this world has become so corrupt. We can barely hear his whisper above the shouting of society. Listen closely though. He's still there. He's never gone. He's still waiting for us to open our "newborn" eyes to spending time with him.

Jesus Calling?

    I've been reading a devotional book called "Jesus Calling" since September, and I gotta say it's one of the best little five minute devos I've ever done. I've never been a devotional type person. I was raised in church and have felt since young adulthood, "churched out". I mean we were there every time the doors were open and I have always known the right answers. Dane and I both struggle with that. We always know the right answers, but applying them to our lives is a different story. You know, the way we can become numb to certain things when exposed to them a lot. Now, don't get me wrong, I'm not saying our parents were wrong in raising us this way at all! You know the saying, "going back to your roots", I believe this wholeheartedly. We will most likely go back to our roots. That's why it's so important to "root" our children with the right ideals.
     Back to the book..... Through this book the Lord has spoken to me the most audibly I've ever heard Him. It seems that every time I open this book and the scriptures that go along with it, even if it's a little sentence, there's something that I can apply to my life that very day. It never ceases to amaze me. See, that's how numb I had become to all things spiritual. I am surprised at even the minutest way He can speak to me. Actually, I seem to be more surprised at the little things than the big things. It's easy to see God in the sky that goes on as far as our eyes can see, but when He whispers, my selfish thoughts are too loud to hear Him. I have become so much more aware of Him in every hour of the day. Even in the little things that it would seem shouldn't matter to such a big God, but do, because they matter to me. In short, I have seen God's love for me. That has always been the toughest thing for me to see. His Love. If you haven't gotten this book, get it. It will change your perspective.

I'm Back (who knows for how long)

I'm going to try this blogging thing again. I love reading others blogs, plus it does help you journal your life. That said....

   Things are all girly-fied around here because we are expecting our little girl, Leila, in April. We are sooooo excited! I have loved picking out all the girl clothes and accessories. She is truly a well dressed child already. I am really looking forward to a different kind of relationship with her than I have with Hollis. I will say that I am also a little nervous about it too. You see moms and teenage girls fighting on the TV all the time. I have someone on my side who knows what He is doing though. So, I will prayerfully approach all things teenager when that comes. Stay tuned to meet Leila.
     Hollis will be turning 2 in April also. Actually, my due date is April 23 and Hollis' birthday is April 29. Almost exactly 2 years apart! I know what you're thinking..... it was not planned that way. God has a perfect plan and this was it. I think that 2 years between them is great. My sister and I are and we've always gotten along great.
     So, now on to bragging mom time. My baby boy is so smart. Yes, I know, every mom thinks this, but people actually tell me EVERY day how smart and charming he is. He is not even 2. Here is a list of his skills:

• He is potty trained. Still wearing a diaper at night and nap time.
• He can recognize most of the alphabet.
• He can recognize numbers from 1 to 10. He knows about numbers up to 20 or so.
• He is so expressive. He really knows how to work voice inflections.
• He is very funny. Dane says he's like a cartoon sometimes.
• He's my little lovin' boy. That boy loves affection!
• His communication skills are out of this world! He can even communicate with strangers and they will know what he's talking about.
• He is very observant, he notices everything!
• He's our little negotiator. He'll try to talk his way into everything. (This one you have to see to believe, because it's crazy. He's going to be a lawyer or something.) 
• All in all, he's genius. ;)

     Thanks for tuning into brag fest. I could go on and on.

Pioneer Days?

Dane has some time off in a few days. Nine days off in a row!!! I'm excited but I always feel like we have a million things to do on his time off. We have to go here to see them, then go here to see them, then we have this chore and that chore to do. I have to say I wish families still lived all together. You know like the Amish still do. I would love this. Then we would see our families all the time, and be closer with them, and when we do have time off, then we could actually relax instead of feeling like we have to divide the time equally between families. I love to see our families, I just don't feel like we do it right anymore. Families are supposed to be close-nit. When did moving across the country from out loved ones start?  This is the norm now. Now we cram as much time in together as we can in two or three days, leaving everyone exhausted, and irritated. In the past, families worked together and played together, I'm sure they had their fights, but they were forced to deal with it. Instead of bottling it up like we do, worrying about hurting everyone's feelings. I wish we could all be honest with each other. I hate tip-toeing around everybody. I feel like we should be able to give constructive criticism. In fact, I think it should be expected as a sign of our love for one another. "Edifying" as the bible says. I don't know about you, but I want to know my faults. I want to be a better person. I like to make people happy, and if I'm irritating you, I want to know. Well, I've kind of gotten off subject here. Oh well, I'm  just rambling anyway. Have a good day.

Mother's Day

Mother's Day..... What a good holiday. In a world full of unappreciative children and selfish teenagers, it's good to have something to remind them of all their mothers do for them. But it has gotten me to thinking. Shouldn't every day be a day to love and appreciate all of our loved ones. This world (at least our society) is all about me. What's going on in my life... What makes me happy... What can you do for me? We should be putting ourselves aside every day... Serving others every day...Making someone else happy every day. I've been reading a book called "Raising Respectful Children in a Disrespectful World". It's not what it sounds like. It's not about teaching your children to say yes ma'am and no ma'am. It's about teaching your children to put others ahead of themselves, at all times. Isn't that what we are called to do? What makes us feel so important? What makes us think that our happiness should come first? This attitude effects everyone. Husbands and wives...children and parents...co-workers...brothers and sisters. John 13:31-35 is the "New Commandment" that Jesus gives during the last supper. V.34 says, "A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another; as I have loved you, that you also love one another." V. 35 "By this all will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another." We've all heard this time and time again. But really look at what it says. Jesus COMMANDED that we love one another as he loved us. I don't know about you, but there are not many people on this earth that I would lay down my life for. Now we all know all that we can do is strive to be like Jesus. We will never attain it. But he commands us to. He also says that this is the way that that people will know that we are different as Christians. Jesus is not just talking about our families. He's talking about everyone, specifically other believers. I challenge you this week to make a point to let someone in your life that you love or don't love know what they mean in your life. At least once a day. It can even be a kind word to a stranger. Like, "You look nice today". It may be uncomfortable for you if you are not an encouraging person, but encouragement is a universal way to show love. I promise you it will open up your eyes into the soul of our sweet Jesus, to love the way he loved. I'm going to start close to home and focus on my husband today. He is sorely deprived on the encouragement department right now. Follow Jesus command and love like you've never loved before.

Hollis (Hollywood, as his daddy calls him) is getting so big. I can tell something is about to happen because he's just been a little off lately. You know how they get kinda fussy and disagreeable right before they start something new. I don't know if it's teeth or if he's about to walk. Either way, this kid puffs me up! I mean it, I am ONE PROUD MAMA! His communication skills are out of this world. He is saying so many things. Here's a list (as if you care, but hey, I'm not twisting your arm): Daddy (his #1), Mama, baby, down, thank you, ball, night night, eat, moo, moon, bird, dog. He also can sign: please, eat, thank you, more. He's made up his own signs for: passy, blanket. Folks, he's going to be a year old next week. Tell me he's not a genius baby. I know, I know, every mother thinks her baby is the smartest, but mine REALLY is. He also asks me for permission...sometimes;) So, I've turned out to be a softy in the discipline department. I've always said, I'll be a strict disciplinarian, but the little boy melts my heart. Thanks for tuning in to BRAG FEST 2010. There will probably be another one soon.

So, we've made another journey to Children's. Also, we have to go back again next month. It's nothing serious, but still, I'm thinking, "three times in one year?". I guess I should stop complaining though, because he's a healthy boy. So, here's what it is. My neice and my mother in law had noticed a lump on Hollis' wrist. I checked it out and it always looked like chubby to me. One day it was significantly bigger and it was kind of sac like. So I made an appointment. The doctor said it looked like a hemangioma.  Which is strange because my nephew has one too. He said it looked a little deeper than a hemangioma so he would feel more comfortable if he a had a specialist check it out. We went on Monday, this week. The specialist said it was not a hemangioma. It is one of two things. Either a venous malformation, or a lymphatic malformation. From what I've read, the latter tends to be more rare than the former. Both are determined by MRI, and treated in the same various ways. She also said it's nothing worry about, it's not life threatening, and they are usually not cancerous. She wants us to meet with the vascular anomalies team, but they only meet once a month so it won't be until May 26. He will get a MRI that day, and, I guess, then they will  look at it determine what it is and talk to us about it. She also said that it most likely will not have to be treated for a while, because he's still so young.  They took a 3D image of it, and several other pictures. I had to sign a photo release, in case they wanted to use the images in a classroom. Just thought that was interesting. So he's still a healthy boy. I'll keep you posted.

Thanks!

Do you ever have one of those days where you've got soo much to do? Laundry, grocery shopping, cleaning? But, you still have a good attitude? I know you have. That's me today. So much to do, Hollis is cranky (he always is on Mondays from lack of nap-times on Sundays), but I just can't help but feel good. God has blessed me so much. I have a wonderful family, I don't ever go hungry, a more than adequate roof over my head, and most of all Jesus is risen!! He rose because I couldn't. Thank you  Jesus!

End Times

I've been thinking a lot about end times. It scares me. It used to scare me for me, but not anymore. Now it scares me for Hollis. I know that I can handle it, but my sweet little innocent baby, can he handle it? I know that if Hollis accepts Christ he can handle it, but no one wants their children to suffer. Especially, no one has children thinking that they will have to endure persecution. We all work very hard to make sure that our children do not have to suffer anymore than they have to. When things are out of our control, there's nothing to be done. But, we have to remember that things are not out of the Lord's control. He is the omnipotent one. We also have to remember that the tribulation is a result of human sin. Now, I don't know how if I'm pre-trib or post-trib, but I know that things are going to get worse before the Lord makes his appearance. We can sit here and "blame" Adam and Eve, but the truth of the matter is that any one of us would have done the same thing. We also should remember that at the end of the world heaven is waiting. I haven't always  looked forward to heaven, simply because I don't know if my loved ones will be part of my life there. I mean, our loved ones are the greatest part of our lives, we can't imagine anything better right? But the Bible tells us that it is better. So far beyond our imaginations, that we can't grasp the reality that something could be better than loving and being loved. I try hard every day to have faith, and trust that God knows what's best. That's always been hard for me to do when it was just me, but now that I have Hollis, it's harder than ever. Just because as a mother I think I know ultimately what's best for my son. I can worry about what we are going to have to endure or I can learn to enjoy life right now, and prepare myself for what's to come. I used to think that preparing myself meant wallowing in fear and worry. But, I've learned that that only makes me weaker. You can take life seriously and still enjoy what's left of it. I've never had tragedy strike in my life, so I don't know how I would be at handling chaos, but I do know that the Lord tells me he gives me strength to endure all things. "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." Phil. 4:13 Let's remember that as Christians we are the strong ones. Let's have confidence in our one TRUE God. In turn this will give us confidence in ourselves to stand up and fight His battle, and preach his gospel unto all the world.

We had a great weekend! We took Hollis to the zoo for the first time on Friday. It was sooo much fun. He had a blast. We had a blast. The grandparents had a blast. A blast was had by all. The zoo has kind of become a special thing to our family, accidentally. Dane and I didn't go on our honeymoon until the week after our wedding. We stayed at the Peabody on our wedding night and went to the zoo the next day. Then when my sister's due date rolled around with Jack we decided to go to the zoo. (He was born twenty minutes after his due date. 12:20 I think...) So, we also went on Hollis' due date.( He was nine days late...) Didn't work for Hollis. That was the last time we were there. Anyway, we've kind of made it our family thing. Here are a few pictures of the day.

 I don't know if you can tell, but his shirt says, "I'm a little bananas". This is the best picture I could get.

On Hollis' six month check-up the doctor found a heart murmur. My heart sunk. "A heart murmur?!" He assured me it was a very common thing and said that he would just check on it at his nine month appointment. Nine month appointment rolled around, it's still there. "Still there?!" Then he proceeds to tell me that "They very rarely patch them." "Patch them? You mean heart surgery?!" I don't know anything about these things. I was scared, but faithful. Then he told me that he would make an appointment at Children's to see a cardiologist.Those are scary words for a mother. We were then put on a waiting list. Yesterday while mopping the kitchen they called. "Can you be here at 8:30?" "We'll be there." Children's is a very well oiled machine. Everything is so smooth. You see, we've been there before, for his hernia surgery when he was two months old. Two visits in his short 10 month existence. I wanted to make this his last. There were many sick children who weren't smiling at everyone like Hollis. Transplant patients mainly. I felt guilty for having a healthy child. They did an EKG. Then we waited for the cardiologist. She came in and listened and listened. She then said,"He has a perfectly normal heart. These thing happen all the time." Praise you Jesus!!!!! My mother and I commented on the way to the elevator that some of these people won't be leaving with perfectly normal healthy children. Pray for those children that are sick. Here's Hollis today. Healthy and beautiful!

I've realized that my posts have been negative as of late. I haven't intended for that to happen. I'm just trying to figure out a few things. Anyway, here's some positivity. People have been doing their simple things list, here's mine:

• Getting Hollis up in the morning, he gives awesome morning hugs!
• Morning coffee, never thought I'd drink coffee like my grandparents. haha
• A plane ride to wherever we're going on vacation to next! 
• While we're on the subject...the looooooong plane ride to Hawaii. My favorite place.
• I love the anticipation before a surprise. It's as good as the surprise.
• Potatoes, anyway they come.
• Having the blinds open during the day.
• A glass of wine with the fire blazing, sitting next to my man.
• Speaking of him... I love it when Dane has a day off.
• Listening to Dane and Hollis play when I'm in the other room.
• Coming home from wherever to a CLEAN house.
• Fixing my neice's hair.
• Hearing all the new words and fun things my neice learns every day.
•  My nephew is such a lover, then all of a sudden he just wants to wrestle.....LOVE it.
• NEW SHOES!!!!
• New make-up
• My newest seven day old nephew.
• Being knocked over by a big wave and wondering, "am I going to make it this time?"
• Manta rays...so graceful
• Being reminded that God is in control.....such a relief
• Waking and remembering something good is going to happen today.
• My best friend.... my mama
• Spending time with the fam... both sides.                                                 

Sorry, this is a lot, but a lot of things make me happy. The list could go on and on! Have a good day. Try to remember the things that make life awesome!

I've been feeling a tug on my heart. I'm not sure what it is, I'm still waiting for God to reveal what that tugging is. I know that raising Hollis is part of my calling in life. But, I feel like there's something else.What else? you ask. I can't quite put my finger on it. Like the old saying," it's on the tip of my tongue". Usually, I would be frustrated, wondering why God is taking so long to reveal himself to me. But, this time I feel as if this is part of the plan. The Lord wants me to wait to show me that he's in control. So many times I try to prove to him that I'm in control. It must be frustrating to him. He also probably laughs and says, "Silly girl, don't you know that I am the Alpha and Omega? Why do you wrestle me like Jacob? Have you not learned your lesson? Why do you not trust me? I will always prove myself to you." I'm so hard on myself and everyone that I love, that I forget that he has nothing to prove to me. Even if he hadn't already proven himself, I realize that he doesn't have to. He's GOD! Yet, he does anyway, over and over. Just to make himself accessible to me. He knows that I need the proof. How ashamed I am that I ask even God to prove himself to me. The Lord has made the ultimate effort, still I say,  "come to me Lord, come to me." It's time I went to him, got down on my knees and said, "Lord you have proven yourself to me time and time again. It's time for me to prove myself faithful to you." Here's the lyrics to a song by Avalon that I've always held dear to my heart.

I used to be the one 

Who would long to hear your voice 

A child who 

sought to win his Father's heart 

But as I carried on 

Life got a hold on me 

Now here I am, a child so far from home 



Tell me when did I lose my first love? 

Where did the fire and passion go? 

Burn in me Your holy fire 

Give me back my lost desire 

And restore in me the love I felt for You 

 

Can I remember how it felt 

When they looked into my face 

And they saw the love of Jesus in my eyes 

When I look back on my life 

And question where I've been 

Can I really say I've done my best for you? 

Oh, where did I go? 

(I've lost my way, I've lost my love, I'm all alone) 

Oh, I'm lost and I'm alone 

Oh, help me please Lord, lead me home 



Father take me back 

And let me start again 

Lord, I've failed and I've 

fallen in my pride 

But lead me back to you 

Where my life began 

Revive in me the yearning that has died.

Hollis is getting a new tooth. Wow! The last two were not this bad. Poor baby. He's been following me around like a little puppy dog, which he normally does, only now he's following me crying. I hate to give him medicine, so I've been giving him the homeopathic teething tablets. They seem to be working, 'cause he actually gets excited to see the bottle.He still wants me to hold him all day. I don't have time to hold him all day, but I do make time in the afternoon for snuggle time if he wants it. He hasn't said no yet.A good thing has come of the cutting of this tooth, he's actually napping. He is not a very good napper. He sleeps good at night, but when it comes to naps, he hates them. He's like me, afraid he's going to miss something. I watch a little boy on Fridays, and it seems to be the worst then. So, even though he wants me to hold him when he's up, I'm still getting stuff done, because he's napping. So, it hasn't been that bad, I just feel sorry for him because he doesn't feel good, and doesn't understand why.