Pioneer Days?

Dane has some time off in a few days. Nine days off in a row!!! I'm excited but I always feel like we have a million things to do on his time off. We have to go here to see them, then go here to see them, then we have this chore and that chore to do. I have to say I wish families still lived all together. You know like the Amish still do. I would love this. Then we would see our families all the time, and be closer with them, and when we do have time off, then we could actually relax instead of feeling like we have to divide the time equally between families. I love to see our families, I just don't feel like we do it right anymore. Families are supposed to be close-nit. When did moving across the country from out loved ones start?  This is the norm now. Now we cram as much time in together as we can in two or three days, leaving everyone exhausted, and irritated. In the past, families worked together and played together, I'm sure they had their fights, but they were forced to deal with it. Instead of bottling it up like we do, worrying about hurting everyone's feelings. I wish we could all be honest with each other. I hate tip-toeing around everybody. I feel like we should be able to give constructive criticism. In fact, I think it should be expected as a sign of our love for one another. "Edifying" as the bible says. I don't know about you, but I want to know my faults. I want to be a better person. I like to make people happy, and if I'm irritating you, I want to know. Well, I've kind of gotten off subject here. Oh well, I'm  just rambling anyway. Have a good day.

Mother's Day

Mother's Day..... What a good holiday. In a world full of unappreciative children and selfish teenagers, it's good to have something to remind them of all their mothers do for them. But it has gotten me to thinking. Shouldn't every day be a day to love and appreciate all of our loved ones. This world (at least our society) is all about me. What's going on in my life... What makes me happy... What can you do for me? We should be putting ourselves aside every day... Serving others every day...Making someone else happy every day. I've been reading a book called "Raising Respectful Children in a Disrespectful World". It's not what it sounds like. It's not about teaching your children to say yes ma'am and no ma'am. It's about teaching your children to put others ahead of themselves, at all times. Isn't that what we are called to do? What makes us feel so important? What makes us think that our happiness should come first? This attitude effects everyone. Husbands and wives...children and parents...co-workers...brothers and sisters. John 13:31-35 is the "New Commandment" that Jesus gives during the last supper. V.34 says, "A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another; as I have loved you, that you also love one another." V. 35 "By this all will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another." We've all heard this time and time again. But really look at what it says. Jesus COMMANDED that we love one another as he loved us. I don't know about you, but there are not many people on this earth that I would lay down my life for. Now we all know all that we can do is strive to be like Jesus. We will never attain it. But he commands us to. He also says that this is the way that that people will know that we are different as Christians. Jesus is not just talking about our families. He's talking about everyone, specifically other believers. I challenge you this week to make a point to let someone in your life that you love or don't love know what they mean in your life. At least once a day. It can even be a kind word to a stranger. Like, "You look nice today". It may be uncomfortable for you if you are not an encouraging person, but encouragement is a universal way to show love. I promise you it will open up your eyes into the soul of our sweet Jesus, to love the way he loved. I'm going to start close to home and focus on my husband today. He is sorely deprived on the encouragement department right now. Follow Jesus command and love like you've never loved before.

Hollis (Hollywood, as his daddy calls him) is getting so big. I can tell something is about to happen because he's just been a little off lately. You know how they get kinda fussy and disagreeable right before they start something new. I don't know if it's teeth or if he's about to walk. Either way, this kid puffs me up! I mean it, I am ONE PROUD MAMA! His communication skills are out of this world. He is saying so many things. Here's a list (as if you care, but hey, I'm not twisting your arm): Daddy (his #1), Mama, baby, down, thank you, ball, night night, eat, moo, moon, bird, dog. He also can sign: please, eat, thank you, more. He's made up his own signs for: passy, blanket. Folks, he's going to be a year old next week. Tell me he's not a genius baby. I know, I know, every mother thinks her baby is the smartest, but mine REALLY is. He also asks me for permission...sometimes;) So, I've turned out to be a softy in the discipline department. I've always said, I'll be a strict disciplinarian, but the little boy melts my heart. Thanks for tuning in to BRAG FEST 2010. There will probably be another one soon.

So, we've made another journey to Children's. Also, we have to go back again next month. It's nothing serious, but still, I'm thinking, "three times in one year?". I guess I should stop complaining though, because he's a healthy boy. So, here's what it is. My neice and my mother in law had noticed a lump on Hollis' wrist. I checked it out and it always looked like chubby to me. One day it was significantly bigger and it was kind of sac like. So I made an appointment. The doctor said it looked like a hemangioma.  Which is strange because my nephew has one too. He said it looked a little deeper than a hemangioma so he would feel more comfortable if he a had a specialist check it out. We went on Monday, this week. The specialist said it was not a hemangioma. It is one of two things. Either a venous malformation, or a lymphatic malformation. From what I've read, the latter tends to be more rare than the former. Both are determined by MRI, and treated in the same various ways. She also said it's nothing worry about, it's not life threatening, and they are usually not cancerous. She wants us to meet with the vascular anomalies team, but they only meet once a month so it won't be until May 26. He will get a MRI that day, and, I guess, then they will  look at it determine what it is and talk to us about it. She also said that it most likely will not have to be treated for a while, because he's still so young.  They took a 3D image of it, and several other pictures. I had to sign a photo release, in case they wanted to use the images in a classroom. Just thought that was interesting. So he's still a healthy boy. I'll keep you posted.

Thanks!

Do you ever have one of those days where you've got soo much to do? Laundry, grocery shopping, cleaning? But, you still have a good attitude? I know you have. That's me today. So much to do, Hollis is cranky (he always is on Mondays from lack of nap-times on Sundays), but I just can't help but feel good. God has blessed me so much. I have a wonderful family, I don't ever go hungry, a more than adequate roof over my head, and most of all Jesus is risen!! He rose because I couldn't. Thank you  Jesus!

End Times

I've been thinking a lot about end times. It scares me. It used to scare me for me, but not anymore. Now it scares me for Hollis. I know that I can handle it, but my sweet little innocent baby, can he handle it? I know that if Hollis accepts Christ he can handle it, but no one wants their children to suffer. Especially, no one has children thinking that they will have to endure persecution. We all work very hard to make sure that our children do not have to suffer anymore than they have to. When things are out of our control, there's nothing to be done. But, we have to remember that things are not out of the Lord's control. He is the omnipotent one. We also have to remember that the tribulation is a result of human sin. Now, I don't know how if I'm pre-trib or post-trib, but I know that things are going to get worse before the Lord makes his appearance. We can sit here and "blame" Adam and Eve, but the truth of the matter is that any one of us would have done the same thing. We also should remember that at the end of the world heaven is waiting. I haven't always  looked forward to heaven, simply because I don't know if my loved ones will be part of my life there. I mean, our loved ones are the greatest part of our lives, we can't imagine anything better right? But the Bible tells us that it is better. So far beyond our imaginations, that we can't grasp the reality that something could be better than loving and being loved. I try hard every day to have faith, and trust that God knows what's best. That's always been hard for me to do when it was just me, but now that I have Hollis, it's harder than ever. Just because as a mother I think I know ultimately what's best for my son. I can worry about what we are going to have to endure or I can learn to enjoy life right now, and prepare myself for what's to come. I used to think that preparing myself meant wallowing in fear and worry. But, I've learned that that only makes me weaker. You can take life seriously and still enjoy what's left of it. I've never had tragedy strike in my life, so I don't know how I would be at handling chaos, but I do know that the Lord tells me he gives me strength to endure all things. "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." Phil. 4:13 Let's remember that as Christians we are the strong ones. Let's have confidence in our one TRUE God. In turn this will give us confidence in ourselves to stand up and fight His battle, and preach his gospel unto all the world.

We had a great weekend! We took Hollis to the zoo for the first time on Friday. It was sooo much fun. He had a blast. We had a blast. The grandparents had a blast. A blast was had by all. The zoo has kind of become a special thing to our family, accidentally. Dane and I didn't go on our honeymoon until the week after our wedding. We stayed at the Peabody on our wedding night and went to the zoo the next day. Then when my sister's due date rolled around with Jack we decided to go to the zoo. (He was born twenty minutes after his due date. 12:20 I think...) So, we also went on Hollis' due date.( He was nine days late...) Didn't work for Hollis. That was the last time we were there. Anyway, we've kind of made it our family thing. Here are a few pictures of the day.

 I don't know if you can tell, but his shirt says, "I'm a little bananas". This is the best picture I could get.

On Hollis' six month check-up the doctor found a heart murmur. My heart sunk. "A heart murmur?!" He assured me it was a very common thing and said that he would just check on it at his nine month appointment. Nine month appointment rolled around, it's still there. "Still there?!" Then he proceeds to tell me that "They very rarely patch them." "Patch them? You mean heart surgery?!" I don't know anything about these things. I was scared, but faithful. Then he told me that he would make an appointment at Children's to see a cardiologist.Those are scary words for a mother. We were then put on a waiting list. Yesterday while mopping the kitchen they called. "Can you be here at 8:30?" "We'll be there." Children's is a very well oiled machine. Everything is so smooth. You see, we've been there before, for his hernia surgery when he was two months old. Two visits in his short 10 month existence. I wanted to make this his last. There were many sick children who weren't smiling at everyone like Hollis. Transplant patients mainly. I felt guilty for having a healthy child. They did an EKG. Then we waited for the cardiologist. She came in and listened and listened. She then said,"He has a perfectly normal heart. These thing happen all the time." Praise you Jesus!!!!! My mother and I commented on the way to the elevator that some of these people won't be leaving with perfectly normal healthy children. Pray for those children that are sick. Here's Hollis today. Healthy and beautiful!

I've realized that my posts have been negative as of late. I haven't intended for that to happen. I'm just trying to figure out a few things. Anyway, here's some positivity. People have been doing their simple things list, here's mine:

• Getting Hollis up in the morning, he gives awesome morning hugs!
• Morning coffee, never thought I'd drink coffee like my grandparents. haha
• A plane ride to wherever we're going on vacation to next! 
• While we're on the subject...the looooooong plane ride to Hawaii. My favorite place.
• I love the anticipation before a surprise. It's as good as the surprise.
• Potatoes, anyway they come.
• Having the blinds open during the day.
• A glass of wine with the fire blazing, sitting next to my man.
• Speaking of him... I love it when Dane has a day off.
• Listening to Dane and Hollis play when I'm in the other room.
• Coming home from wherever to a CLEAN house.
• Fixing my neice's hair.
• Hearing all the new words and fun things my neice learns every day.
•  My nephew is such a lover, then all of a sudden he just wants to wrestle.....LOVE it.
• NEW SHOES!!!!
• New make-up
• My newest seven day old nephew.
• Being knocked over by a big wave and wondering, "am I going to make it this time?"
• Manta rays...so graceful
• Being reminded that God is in control.....such a relief
• Waking and remembering something good is going to happen today.
• My best friend.... my mama
• Spending time with the fam... both sides.                                                 

Sorry, this is a lot, but a lot of things make me happy. The list could go on and on! Have a good day. Try to remember the things that make life awesome!

I've been feeling a tug on my heart. I'm not sure what it is, I'm still waiting for God to reveal what that tugging is. I know that raising Hollis is part of my calling in life. But, I feel like there's something else.What else? you ask. I can't quite put my finger on it. Like the old saying," it's on the tip of my tongue". Usually, I would be frustrated, wondering why God is taking so long to reveal himself to me. But, this time I feel as if this is part of the plan. The Lord wants me to wait to show me that he's in control. So many times I try to prove to him that I'm in control. It must be frustrating to him. He also probably laughs and says, "Silly girl, don't you know that I am the Alpha and Omega? Why do you wrestle me like Jacob? Have you not learned your lesson? Why do you not trust me? I will always prove myself to you." I'm so hard on myself and everyone that I love, that I forget that he has nothing to prove to me. Even if he hadn't already proven himself, I realize that he doesn't have to. He's GOD! Yet, he does anyway, over and over. Just to make himself accessible to me. He knows that I need the proof. How ashamed I am that I ask even God to prove himself to me. The Lord has made the ultimate effort, still I say,  "come to me Lord, come to me." It's time I went to him, got down on my knees and said, "Lord you have proven yourself to me time and time again. It's time for me to prove myself faithful to you." Here's the lyrics to a song by Avalon that I've always held dear to my heart.

I used to be the one 

Who would long to hear your voice 

A child who 

sought to win his Father's heart 

But as I carried on 

Life got a hold on me 

Now here I am, a child so far from home 



Tell me when did I lose my first love? 

Where did the fire and passion go? 

Burn in me Your holy fire 

Give me back my lost desire 

And restore in me the love I felt for You 

 

Can I remember how it felt 

When they looked into my face 

And they saw the love of Jesus in my eyes 

When I look back on my life 

And question where I've been 

Can I really say I've done my best for you? 

Oh, where did I go? 

(I've lost my way, I've lost my love, I'm all alone) 

Oh, I'm lost and I'm alone 

Oh, help me please Lord, lead me home 



Father take me back 

And let me start again 

Lord, I've failed and I've 

fallen in my pride 

But lead me back to you 

Where my life began 

Revive in me the yearning that has died.

Hollis is getting a new tooth. Wow! The last two were not this bad. Poor baby. He's been following me around like a little puppy dog, which he normally does, only now he's following me crying. I hate to give him medicine, so I've been giving him the homeopathic teething tablets. They seem to be working, 'cause he actually gets excited to see the bottle.He still wants me to hold him all day. I don't have time to hold him all day, but I do make time in the afternoon for snuggle time if he wants it. He hasn't said no yet.A good thing has come of the cutting of this tooth, he's actually napping. He is not a very good napper. He sleeps good at night, but when it comes to naps, he hates them. He's like me, afraid he's going to miss something. I watch a little boy on Fridays, and it seems to be the worst then. So, even though he wants me to hold him when he's up, I'm still getting stuff done, because he's napping. So, it hasn't been that bad, I just feel sorry for him because he doesn't feel good, and doesn't understand why.

One of my very good friends is having a baby as I speak. I can't go until later when Dane gets home, so he can stay with Hollis. This reminds me of the gift of life that God gives us.The gift of eternal life, and the gift of life through our children on this Earth. How blessed we are. Not only do we get to have eternal life in heaven with the Almighty, but before that we get to experience new life. There is truly no better day than when your children are born.When we hold our little infants in our arms for the first time, we feel like we can conquer the world. There's nothing that can stop us. Remember Jesus was once an infant too. I'm sure Mary (especially since she didn't have any drugs...if she did I'm sure they were not as good as ours;)) felt the same way. Especially since she knew he was going to be the Savior of the world. How difficult it must have been for her to look at him knowing that one day he was going to be sacrificed so that even she,  could have eternal life. How wonderful it is that he paid our debt, and we can look at our own children praising Jesus that we don't have to one day see them be sacrificed. Here's a few pictures of my little man's journey through life thus far. Thank you Lord for my wonderful undeserved blessings!!!

                            Hollis and his Daddy. This was the cover of Dane's first father's day card.

Hollis showing off his muscles.

Little clean angel baby.

Our first official family picture.

Ain't he soo cute.

He smiled and laughed so early. I think he was four weeks when he first smiled.

He got just a little chubby.

Mommy and me. First Thanksgiving

You me and baby makes three!!

Last night at our small group we talked about anger and the control of anger. I separate the two because that's what I need to start doing. The question," What's the difference in being angry and sinning because of your anger?" was asked. To be honest, I don't know. I've really been working on my anger management lately. But I'm starting to think that maybe I should start by learning to not jump to anger. Work on not getting angry and then when I get to where I can do that, then I can learn the right times to get angry and control it.
On another note, I'm really looking forward to getting to know all of our new friends. Dane and I haven't had friends in a long time. It's going to be very good for us. It already has been. We've really enjoyed our "real" talks we've had with everyone. I know this short, but this is all I have. Hollis is napping and I think I should be too.

On Sunday Ken talked about being a good steward, not just of your money but of your time and talents as well. I've been giving this a lot of thought. What about my talents? What talents? I know I'm good at hair, but it's not time for that in my life right now. It's time for me to raise my child[ren]. So what can I do? How can I be used, except for raising up soldiers for Him? I have a lot more time to give. When I was doing hair, it was my ministry. I have a lot praying to do. Wouldn't it be nice if the Lord would just drop everything in our laps? I know, if that was so, we wouldn't have to pursue a relationship with Him, and that would defeat the purpose of being here to glorify Him. There's a song that goes like this: "There are days, when I feel, the best of me is ready to begin. Then there are days when I feel I'm letting go and soaring on the wind." This describes perfectly how I'm feeling. I'm still trying to find my niche. This is a new era in my life. New everything. New "job", new house, new attitude. I must say, I'm enjoying this time of searching. Just a little. I know it will bring me closer to my God.

New experience. Hollis stayed the night with my mom and dad last night. I'm starting to wean him a little, so he has goat's milk a couple of times a day. As you can imagine this frees me up a little. We have only been apart for two hours or so at time. In eight months. I teared up a little when they drove off, but other than that I did pretty good. Dane and I went out to dinner and a movie. It was awesome! We haven't had that much time alone in long time. We had time to reconnect, with no stressers. We had a blast. The funny thing is that when we went to get him, he was initially glad to see me, then it was like he caught himself, like "oh wait, I'm mad at you mommy". It was so funny. He would hardly look at me for a couple of hours. It didn't bother me because I knew he would get over it. I've seen my nephew do the same thing. I've also heard about other little boys doing the same thing. He got over it and is back to being mommy's boy. I've always heard little boys loove their mommies. I know from experience now. I'm loving being a mommy!!! I'm so grateful to the Lord and my husband that I get to stay home with him, and love him every second of the day.

I'm watching Hollis play on the floor, dinner is cooking, I got most of the laundry done today, a lot has been accomplished. I was thinking today about the sermon on Sunday. He challenged us to build deeper relationships with our friends this year. He also challenged us to make sure that when we look back on 2010 that we can say we've grown spiritually. I must admit, I've kind of given up on friendships. I've always been the good friend and I got tired of being the one left behind. But, it's time for me to grow up, put myself back out there. Stop feeling sorry for myself and realize that people are human. There are areas in my life that I'm not good at. Friendship has now become one of them, because I made it so. {Wait! He just crawled!!!!!!! Hallelujah chorus!!!} So anyway, I'm going to work on building deeper friendships and getting to know my Savior more this year. Being a mother makes things like this just a little easier because we have to set the example. I want to be worthy of my children wanting to follow my example because I follow Christ. My desire to know my Savior is greater because of this. Having children changes your whole life doesn't it? It's the best.

I'm sitting here "watching" the Razorbacks at the Liberty Bowl. Two minutes left...tied ballgame. I'm biting my fingernails!!! If you haven't figured it out, I'm being sarcastic. I'm not exactly a sports fan, but I'm trying to become one. I think it comes from not having a competitive bone in my body. But, none-the-less I'm trying for my husband and my son. One of these days I know I'll do it. When Hollis starts playing sports I'll become a big fan. Anyway Hollis' first Christmas was this year, here are a few pictures of our little Santa.

I started writing earlier, but was rudely interrupted by a screaming little boy who wanted my attention. Ha ha :) Hollis has been very clingy lately. I don't know if it's the lack of crawling or the teething, but I know it's one of those two things. Yes you read right, he's not crawling. 8 months old. He rolls everywhere. My mom said I did the same thing. Never crawled, just went straight to walking. Isn't amazing how the little things that seem insignificant, are passed on to our children! Makes me stop and think a lot. I know, he's young but I still guard his eyes, ears, and heart. Our children today have a much tougher road ahead of them. They will have a much harder time standing up for their morals and beliefs. This is why I believe, that you must start young. Teaching them not care what others think, but that the only thing that matters is what they believe to be the truth, and what God reveals to them to be. I may be stepping on some toes, but I believe it's about time somebody starts stepping on somebodies toes. This country was built on freedom of worship. Let's not forget.

A few days ago a woman that I knew from a long time ago passed away. We still know each other in passing, but have never been close. I guess you would call her an acquaintance. She was around 36 or so. She suddenly, with no warning, passed. I must say, this has hit me harder than I expected it to. It just demonstrates how fleeting life is. It makes me think hard about my life and my attitude.
Who am I that it wouldn't be me? The Lord still has purpose for me on this Earth, I better get to work finding out what it is. I mean beside being a mother and raising up soldiers for you, what else do you want from me Lord?

So, here it is, my very first post. What to say.. what to say. First, let me introduce myself. My name is Heather. I have a husband named Dane and a son named Hollis as you can tell from the title of this blog. I started this because I wanted a way to journal my new adventure of being a stay at home mom. Hollis is now 8 months old, so I'm still very new to the game. This has been the hardest 8 months of my life, but also the most rewarding. I'm still trying to find my "place in this world". Before being a mom I was a hairstylist for six years. I miss it dearly. The adult interaction, making people feel good about themselves, and the variety of each new day. People ask me all the time, "Do you miss doing hair?" I tell them, " A little, but I still get to do my family's hair". The truth is though, I miss it a lot! You see unlike, a lot of hairdressers, I actually went to beauty school because I wanted to! I say all this to say, I wouldn't trade staying home with my baby boy for anything. They're only young once. Every day that I get him out of bed and he hugs my neck is the most reward I could ever ask for.