Hey y'all! Long time no write. Well, that's the way I do this blogging thing.

We are doing well up here in the north (he,he). We still haven't sold our house, but we are faithful. The kids are growing like weeds. Hollis is starting to really amaze me with his ability to retain knowledge. I pretty much only have to tell him once and he's got it. He's such a sweet big brother, and loves that little girl. He also loves us, I know this because he's been telling us all the time. :) He's just a joy to be around. Leila is 8 1/2 months old, but still oh so tiny. In fact it took Dane saying to me the other day, "Mom, I think she's bigger than you think she is" to make me realize that she can handle way more solid foods than I've been giving her. Ha! Poor girl. Speaking of food... that girl loves to eat!! She's going to be walking in no time. She's already trying to let go some. This little girl is a spit fire. She's SO sweet, until you make her mad. Then she's all fight! Love my kids!

This move has made me completely question everything I've believed about spiritual matters. Don't get nervous, I'm not talking about renouncing God. I'm talking about the inner workings of God and his relationship to mankind. The issue that I've been contemplating the most is our "American" lifestyles. I've always thought, "God put me in America. He chose me to be here. He intends for me to enjoy life." That's putting it in a short sentence and really sounds more selfish than I mean for it to. It's sort of a; God wants me to be happy, so what makes me happy, as long as it's not morally wrong is okay with him type thing. I'm starting to see that God's concerns may not be for my happiness, but for my joy. I've always known that there's a difference between joy and happiness, but it's never come to light as it has these past couple of months. What a kick in the face this has been for me! What?! You mean God is not concerned that I left my beautiful home behind, and all of my friends and family to follow him on the path that we believe he led us down?  Shocking, I know. Please forgive my 19 year brain fart. Really, it's not a brain fart, it's just the plain old American way to believe that even the creator of the universe does, in fact, recognize me as the center of his said universe. Wow, what was I thinking? And really, it has caused me to miss out on so much joy. Let's just say, I'm learning to let go and go with the flow. Stop trying to become happy and be it, for crying out loud! Happiness comes from joy. Now, you can have joy without happiness, but never happiness without joy. What a comfort. So, I'm walking in joy day by day.

Jesus

    I'm just going to lay it all down. I want to share fully what the Lord has been doing in our lives. There have been sooo many things go wrong since we moved. I won't list them, just trust me. Most have been small things in the grand scheme of things, but big to us. Our world has been turned upside down. The security and comfort that we knew such a short time ago has been lost. Most of the issues have to do with money. Our house still has not sold. Aaah money. The root of all evil. Or as I like to say, the whole plant, not just the root. We have left our entire lives and moved up here with nobody. We don't have a "home". But, let me tell you.... There is light in our lives. His name is Jesus. He's our comforter.  He's our wonderful counselor. He's our friend. He's what we hold on to. We know that he'll bring us through. He brings joy to our lives through each other. Sometimes you have to go through the valley to see him clearer. To feel his breath on the back of your neck as you climb back up the mountain. Our marriage has grown by leaps and bounds. My patience with the children has grown. I have learned to let go and not sweat the small stuff. (I still have a loooong way to go on this one, but nonetheless, it's better.) I had become a little materialistic and would never have seen it even we hadn't moved here. We've learned the true value of friendships as we miss them soo much. We've had to work harder on family relationships since we're so far away, which results on closer bonds.. The peace that I've heard about my whole life yet never really experienced is with me. We've found a good church. The first and only one that we have visited! We attended a community group the other night. Everyone was extremely friendly. In fact, one of the SAHMs has already invited us for a playdate! So, though technically we are going through a valley, spiritually, we are on that mountain.

Connections

   We moved to a place where "nobody knows my name". I've never been in this situation before. I'm not really sure how to make connections other than at church. My MIL suggested story time at the local library. I looked that up and it's Fridays at 11. We're going to try that this Friday. Also, I looked on-line for local social groups like MOPS or something like that. I think I found one, but I must admit, it makes me a little nervous to meet up with a group of people I don't know, that I found over the internet. Do any of you have any experience in this area?
   I started some bible verse memorization with Hollis yesterday. I not much of teacher so I'm learning a lot too through this process of starting to teach him. I've always been kind of nervous about homeschooling because of my lack of teaching talent. But, I really feel we need to keep him home at least until I feel he has a good grasp on the truth about God. He really enjoyed talking about his verse and reading the passage that it's from. It brings my heart joy to see him enjoy God's word. This will also be good for Dane and I because we will memorize the verses too. Also, it will remind us what it's like to see God through the eyes of a child. All the wonder and amazement. We may not be the perfect parents but we're certainly going to try as hard as we can. If any of you have any quick tips for teaching a pre- pre-schooler that would be great!

Move Update

     We've been here in Independence, MO for about three weeks now. Dane has been here longer, but as a family, three weeks. It's really nice up here. I really miss friends and family, but I have really enjoyed it here. Quick fun fact: Independence is the 4th largest city in Missouri. The humidity is much lower here, and it's just a smidge cooler. I am NOT looking forward to the colder weather in the winter though. I hate cold weather. We probably will not stay in Independence, but this is where our apartment is for now. Did I mention we're renting an apartment? Just until one of our houses sells and then we will buy something. Dane's office is in Independence, but all the suburbs of Kansas City are so close that it won't matter. There are a couple of areas that we like better. I am looking forward to continuing to explore up here.
      We went to the zoo on Saturday and it was huge. I should have worn my running shoes. It was a little crowded because they were running a special that day where all teachers and three guests got in free. So you can imagine. Our favorites were the polar bear and the hippos. Hollis especially liked the polar bear.
     The mall in Independence is cool because it has a kids play area that will be great for something to do when it gets cold outside. Hollis has already enjoyed it many times. :)
    We have enjoyed living in the apartment so far, because there's no maintenance for us and because there's a pool and a hot tub and a gym. So, we kind of feel like we're on vacay. I haven't been into the actual city yet, but look forward to doing that soon.
     I have been very lonely, but my kids bring joy to my life. We tried out a church for the first time on Sunday and we really like it. We'll probably try a couple more but we might have hit a home run on the first try. I'm looking forward to that so that we can make new friends and hopefully I can find some other SAHMs. Dane really likes a fellow manager up here and it seems they already have a "bromance" going on. :) I'm glad.

More Gratefulness

                      Thank you Lord for HOLLIS:

• Thank you for the way he says "Good Mornin' " EVERY morning. (This is essential for me to start my day because I am NOT a morning person and this just makes my heart smile every day!)
• Thank you that even though we've had several "scares", medically speaking, with him, nothing has turned out to be significant.
• Thank you that even after THREE surgeries before he was two years old, they were nothing life threatening. (Crazy, I know!)
• Thank you that he LOVES to snuggle.
• Thank you that recently he told me, "You're the best mama." I asked around and no one had told him to say this. Makes me tear up every time I think about it!
• Thank you for his sweetness. I think he's really going to be a lover of people. He's always concerned about others.
• Thank you for his intelligence. He is always asking me something, wanting to learn something new. Although his inquisitiveness can drive me nuts sometimes, I'm so proud of him.
• Thank you that he's growing to love his little sis more and more every day.
• Thank you for the way he makes me laugh constantly.
• Thank you for giving him blonde hair and brown eyes, just as I had always imagined my little boy. 

                    Thank you Lord for LEILA:

•  Thank you for her little high pitched squeal, that lets me know how happy she is.
•  Thank you for her beautiful blue eyes, just as her daddy had hoped.
•  Thank you for her friendliness. She is always quick with a smile, no matter who you are.
•  Thank you her tiny little features. 
•  Thank you for her health.  She's been so healthy her entire tiny life. 
•  Thank you that she is becoming a little bit of a mama's girl. I can't help but love this!
• Thank you for her precious little giggle.

                   Thank you Lord for my family!!!!!

Thankfulness

The past two years God has been showing me a lot about gratefulness. Thanking him for even the tiniest of things that you would never think to thank him for. Little things from "thank you for coffee ice cream" to big things like "thank you for my children". Just being in constant prayer to him, thanking him for every detail of my life. Now, I'm not a very quick habit maker. I'm stubborn. Also, it's hard to thank him for the bad things too, but that's what he's been showing me. "Thank me for every part of your life, good and bad, because you are on my path." PHEW, that's a hard one, Lord! These next few posts are going to be about the things that are easy for me to thank him for though. One post for each member of my little family and how they bless me (no particular order).

                           Thank you Lord for DANE:

• Thank you that he can always bring my stress level down a notch and make me realize that it's not that bad.
• Thank you that he's always trying to do what's absolutely best for our family. He takes such good care of us.
• Thank you for his smile that lights up the room (for me anyway).
• Thank you for his big strong arms that can wrap around me and make me forget all my troubles.
• Thank you for the way he loves our children. What a loving father he is.
• Thank you for his big heart that doesn't know how to say "no" to anyone. 
• Thank you for the way he irritates me, for without this talent our arguments wouldn't end in laughter so often.
• Thank you for his caring disposition that makes him likeable to everyone. 
• Thank you for his laid back ways that have helped me relax so much over the years.

       Thank you Lord for Dane!!

Uprooting

So.... we're moving. :( Leaving all our friends and family. Leaving our home, leaving our church. I'm VERY sad. But, I'm also a little excited. We're just going to take ourselves a little adventure. I'm telling myself it's a temporary long-term thing. I've been praying for our marriage a lot lately and so has Dane and this whole moving thing has already grown us closer. So, there's already one good thing about it, and we haven't even moved yet! I'm really trying hard to keep the positive things in the forefront of my mind. Of course, I've had a few "breakdowns", but all in all I've stayed positive. It's going to be a fun little BIG adventure for our family. There is so much to do in the Kansas City area. We're going to be little country fish in a big city pond. Ha! I guess I better get better at writing and keeping this blog updated. I'll try....